As an anxiety warrior you must have extremely high standards for the people you surround yourself with. This includes family. It can be very difficult to cut toxic people out of your life, but in order to discover who you really are you need to be in tune with positive frequencies that will guide you and inspire you to heal not remain stagnant.

I learned first hand how important it is to know the true character of people you talk to on a daily basis. My parents divorced when I was five years old and my dad went through hell to get custody of both me and my sister. My mom is and was an alcoholic who surrounded herself with criminals who physically abused me and sexually abused my sister. Despite this truth, the courts still wanted to keep me and my sister in a hell as opposed to letting us go to a stable home under a single dad. In the end my mom chose alcohol over me and my sister and I have had to realize that truth during my teen years and as an adult.

I still think a lot about the relationship that could have been with my mom, but due to her choices and influence from her parents the mother and son bond would forever be broken. The use of alcohol corrupted my mother’s soul and many of my other family members. Despite being a PHD in English Composition (English being one of my stronger subjects) and liking tennis like I do, my grandfather (mom’s dad) never wanted to associate with me or my sister. All my grandparents have died and despite the harsh truth, I know that none of my grandparents nor my mother truly loved me. These broken familial relationships likely contributed extensively to my anxiety issues in life, but I would much rather have the truth than fake connection.

Due to my experiences in life, I have extremely high standards for my friends and family but the return is that I know I can count on anyone in my social circle to support me. Not everyone has your best interest in mind. I have had both a girlfriend and best friend that used me for various reasons. I was so centered on the emotions of them “liking” me that I was blinded to the fact that they didn’t really love me, only what I could provide to them.

On this new road of healing, don’t allow anyone to travel with you that simply wants to use your body, wallet or emotions to push themselves farther down the trail ahead of you. Anyone that is with you on your journey of healing must either want to help you finish the trail hand in hand or sometimes foot in rear on the days where you are down and need a little boost to keep moving forward.

It can be hard to break away from relationships where you are simply liked and not loved, but you must do what is difficult for your true warrior self. Sometimes I get depressed thinking about the “what could have been” with lovers, friends or family but I have an extended network of hard charging ethical people who remind me of what is and what I can become. As I have healed from my anxiety I learned that the only bond I will accept is that of love.