Intense fear has a way of keeping us quiet. Sometimes we become so afraid that we can’t even find the words to describe what we are feeling. As we try to find ways to heal from our most intense fears we have to analyze and understand what is holding us back in order to express our pain.

Many people are afraid to talk about their anxiety because they feel like they are or would be a burden to friends and family if their “secret” got out. From a male perspective, expressing weakness to other men is generally dismissed as not being man enough to overcome problems. Many sons have a hard time talking to their parents about their anxiety for fear of backlash. The pressures from the external world keep far too many of us quiet, which needs to change in order for all of us to come together and put anxiety behind us for good.

When I was suffering from anxiety and panic almost daily, talking through the experience over the phone or in person with a friend helped me settle down and begin thinking rationally. As I started to get more practice in confronting and controlling my fears, I needed to call my friends less and less. In the early stages I needed my support structure much like how we need training wheels on a bicycle before we are ready to ride unassisted. If you are ready to start healing and kick anxiety’s butt for good, there is absolutely nothing wrong with starting a conversation with a friend or family member.

A great question to ask your friend, parent or partner is “Have you ever experienced panic?” Based on their response, you can learn about how they deal with panic and other intense fears. If you both happen to share a fear that is a great opportunity to say “I know what that is like”. Becoming the interviewer can help start a conversation towards your own healing by learning from others and how they have learned to manage and overcome the fears that life brings to all of us.

Fear is an intense emotion but your willpower to heal is much stronger. If you have been debating on whether or not to get help to start healing, don’t wait any longer. Therapy and open and honest conversations really helped me to look at my fears in a new way and start healing and becoming the man I was always meant to be.

No matter what your fear tells you, you are not a burden. No one is perfect and we all need a little help now and then to help us through the dark times. Helping and receiving help is one of the great things about being human. Give yourself permission to explore the more empathetic side of humanity and you will come out on the other side a much better person.