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If you suffer or have suffered from intense anxiety you likely have heard someone tell you “just get over it” as their attempt to have you conquer your fear in an instant. Although there is some truth to the fact that we do need to get over our anxious mindset and habits, trying to fix our problems in an instant is a recipe for disaster. Trying to heal too quickly will result more setbacks such as:

• Feeling pressured to overcome sensations that you haven’t practiced mastering
• Not addressing the core issue of your fear which will result in long term failure
• Assuming your fears are the same as everyone else and therefore can be fixed by words alone
• Relying too much on the external world to dictate the where, when why and how of your healing

For most of us who have struggled with anxiety well into adulthood, our anxious mindset wasn’t built overnight and can’t be undone overnight either. In order to truly “get over” anxiety we have to take the time to address our childhood trauma and learn to have compassion for ourselves. Telling someone to “just get over it” is like telling someone to read a 400 page book in 5 minutes. We might be able to speed read the pages in that time, but we won’t truly grasp what the book was trying to teach us.

There is a time and a place for tough love but here are steps to help an anxiety sufferer maintain accountability and also focus on moving their healing forward in a healthy way:

• Ask about the goals that they accomplished that day
• Follow up on any meditation, CBT or other healthy practices
• Allow the anxiety sufferer to conquer any panic challenges on their own, only monitor for true medical emergency
• Ask the anxiety sufferer to write down 3 limiting beliefs they have about themselves and then challenge them to write 3 empowering statements about themselves

All healing takes time. Many days you are going to feel alone with your fear but don’t let that fear dictate who you are meant to be and the timeframe by which you want to heal. If you have negative influences in your life dictating that you heal on THEIR schedule, it is time to distance yourself from those influences.

Anxiety is not a joke and not for the faint of heart. It takes real strength and courage to not only face your fears but make true lasting change in your life. Those who only seek to criticize your journey don’t understand the hellish world anxiety creates and therefore any advice of “just get over it” should be ignored.